Listen First, Speak Second

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”
― Ralph G. Nichols

As I sat in our student lounge this week, studying for Step 1, I found myself grasping at anything that would bolster my motivation as I reviewed a seemingly endless sea of information. Catching up with friends, taking breaks to walk outside and enjoy the sunshine, and reminding myself of the trip to Baltimore I get to take next weekend helped, but the benefits were short-lived. What truly keeps me going is my drive to help my future patients. They are the reason I try to learn everything I can and soak up every opportunity I am presented. That fire I have for serving my patients is something I hope is never extinguished. This week, it was refueled in an unexpected way: through an episode of one of my new favorite TV shows.

Monday’s episode of “The Resident” depicted a story that is all too common. A patient was admitted to the hospital and when she later experienced an alarming change in symptoms, attempts by her spouse and other care team members to advocate for her fell on deaf ears. By the time their concerns were heard, it was too late to save the patient.

It’s an awful feeling to feel you aren’t being heard. I would be willing to bet most people have experienced that frustration at some point in their lives, whether it is with friends, family members, colleagues or their healthcare provider. I can think of several instances, in my family alone, where we have interacted with physicians who could have done some more listening. Hypothyroidism, underactivity of the thyroid gland which regulates the body’s metabolism, runs in my family. It took my mother years before someone took her symptoms seriously, finally diagnosed her with hypothyroidism, and prescribed her treatment. Recently, it took my sister standing up for herself and not backing down to get someone to listen when her symptoms worsened and she needed an adjustment in her medication. It was easier to assume that their symptoms were related to aging or being a new mother, so they fell through the cracks.

I am determined to never be that doctor. I will always listen when my patients are telling me about their concerns and goals for care. They know their story and body better than anyone. As someone with Turner Syndrome who knows well what it is like to be a patient with a chronic condition, the best thing we can do for our patients is to give them the tools and knowledge to be able to advocate for themselves. Then, when they do speak up, we need to stop and listen.