Secrets

“Respect is earned, Honesty is appreciated. Trust is gained. Loyalty is returned.”

Auliq Ice

“Wanna know a secret? I used to have to give myself a shot every day too.” Various scenes and versions of this response have played over and over in my head ever since I decided to become a doctor. This week, imagination became reality. I was checking on my patient who had been newly diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes after rounds and began chatting with the family. Everything was still fresh and there was a great deal to process, so naturally the adjustments that everyone would need to make came up. They began talking to the patient about how they were going to need to take shots for the rest of their life and the words just spilled out of my mouth. I didn’t want my patient to feel alone, because it can be so easy for patients to feel like they’re the only ones in the world navigating their particular challenges. That’s probably why there’s a support group for anything you could think of these days. Knowing you are not in this alone and that you have a team behind you can be so powerful.

The attending endocrinologist we worked with this week was incredible. She fiercely advocates for her patients and won’t take no for an answer. She also doesn’t hesitate to take the time to sit with families, meeting them where they are, and provide education or answer questions that arise. That same passion transferred to her interactions with us as trainees. She took time, both during and outside of rounds, to go over various topics and her enthusiasm was contagious. She would correct any misunderstandings we had about the treatment plan, but also was free with her praise, telling us at the end of the week that she appreciated how we knew our patients well and made an effort to look up from our notes to have a conversation. There was a mutual respect between us, which fueled our desire to meet the high standards she set. In a way, she reminded me of my karate instructor growing up. We all admired him and there was no doubt he cared about us as well. He pushed us to live up to our potentials and we fought to reach them because we wanted to do well for him.

This attending was particularly inspiring because she went beyond the medicine, putting things into perspective by illustrating the social barriers facing patients. For example, she talked about the exorbitant cost of insulin, the factors that play into the pricing and how people are literally dying because they can’t afford their medication. I could feel my blood boiling along with her as she expressed her frustration. I remember thinking: This is why I went into medicine. I want to fight for patients when they can’t fight for themselves. I want to educate and empower patients and families to become self-advocates. I want to pass on what I’ve learned to those who come after me. Seeing this modeled in different ways in the hospital is inspiring. Whether it’s challenging the hidden curriculum, pushing back against “Step 1 mania” or advocating for patients, people are out there fighting for change. With some stubborn determination and a healthy dose of sass, maybe we can make some headway. We make a bigger impact than we think. What seems like a small moment to us might just be a pivotal moment to someone else. Let’s be present for it.