End of Semester Thoughts

“The holiday season is the perfect time to reflect on our blessings and seek out ways to make life better for those around us.”

Terri Marshall

During our class meeting this week, we talked about planning our fourth-year schedules and getting ready for the residency application process. As I type these words, they’re hard to believe. There are so many moments where I’ve felt like I was just moving into my apartment and getting ready to meet my classmates for the first time. I still sometimes feel like the new kid in town, especially on rotations where I’m meeting a new team every week or sometimes even every day. Looking back though, it’s pretty amazing to see how far we’ve all come. I’ve made life-long friends, discovered skills I never knew I had and learned tons about myself and life (ok, maybe little medicine too). My friends and I have been to the beach more times than I can count, found the best sushi place in town, held one another up through the loss of loved ones and cheered each other on through every accomplishment. At the same time, we’ve worked our butts off and are growing into the role of doctor we will be entrusted with before we know it. It’s so cool to see my friends’ eyes light up talking about their rotations. It’s in those moments you know they’ve found their people, and that’s such an incredible feeling. I’m lucky to have so many incredible human beings as my future colleagues. As Christmas approaches, these are a few things on my classmates and my Christmas list.

Kindness:

A little kindness goes a long way. This goes for everyone. You never know what someone else is going through. As trainees, we are tired. Many of us are homesick and haven’t seen our families in months or even years. We are all trying the best we can to learn about our patients and do a good job caring for them while juggling the challenges of learning new systems from week to week. An encouraging word, a little grace and actionable suggestions for growth make an incredible difference. They demonstrate to us as trainees that you care for us as human beings and as your future colleagues. At the same time, stress and fatigue can negatively impact how we treat others, leading us to act in ways that are contrary to the values we hold. Medicine is a team sport. We are all valuable members of the healthcare team, from the attending physician to the social worker to the patient. We need to stick together and be there for one another. We discussed the topic of microaggressions during our class meeting earlier this week. Fatigue and burnout are two factors that have been associated with increased frequency of these behaviors. Acknowledging this is one small step toward changing our culture and fostering an environment that supports trainees in not only their education, but also in all aspects of their lives.

Patience:

Third year is full of surprises. Things won’t go as planned and accepting that fact is crucial to thriving on the wards. The more adaptable you are, the less stressful rotations will be. You’ll get along with some teams great and others not so much. You may find that your original specialty choice is not as great of a fit as you thought. Life will happen and that’s okay. You might forget a meeting. You’ll most certainly not ask all of the right questions, but that’s the point. You’re there to learn. No one expects you to have all of the answers, but they expect you to try. As long as the above is being practiced, it doesn’t have to feel like the end of the world. You will grow and improve over time and that’s what’s important. As we start to look toward the next year, we will begin choosing our specialties and the residency programs to which we will apply. I’m both excited and anxious to see what the future will hold. I’m fairly certain now that Med-Peds is the path for me, which is a bit of a leap of faith. We don’t have a Med-Peds program at my medical school, so I will need to do rotations elsewhere to confirm that it’s right fit. It’ll be exciting traveling, seeing how other hospital systems operate and finding out what I value in a residency program. I know myself well and trust the insight of those who know me best, so I know in the end I’ll make the right decision 

Humility:

Keep me humble. There is so much I don’t know, and I am continuing to learn every day. Overconfidence leads to errors and those can have drastic consequences. At the same time, we are human and need to grant one another grace. The important thing is learning from one’s mistakes. As medical students, we are acutely aware that we are being evaluated constantly. We are stuck on the edge between knowing our limits and working to appear confident as well as competent. Daily, I’m torn between wanting to be right, so I’m seen as smart, and craving the space to push the limits of my knowledge. By independently creating my own assessments and plans for patients, I can begin to function more and more like the doctor I will soon be. Isn’t the goal of medical school to prepare yourself to be able act as an intern on day one of residency? As a woman, not only do we have to navigate these obstacles, but we also work harder to obtain the same respect as our male colleagues. We are often perceived as either not confident and therefore not competent, or as too intense and then told to “tone it down”. We need confident, assertive and passionate women in medicine. However, one doesn’t need to be loud or aggressive to be competent. Quiet, steady leadership is equally as effective. I’m not the loudest person in the room and that’s not going to change any time soon. I do, however, know who I am and what I stand for. My family has always had the saying that “Tich’s are leaders. Not followers.” I’m still working out what my leadership style will look like, but I do know everyone on my team will be valued. I’m fiercely loyal and will always have their back.

In one more week, I will be finished with half of my rotations and on a plane home. I am so ready to laugh with and be surrounded by my family.  My dad shows his love by making sure everyone’s fed and cooking up a storm, so I’ll probably be 10 pounds heavier when I get back, but it will be so worth it! I can’t wait.